Finally At Rest

 Last night, a couple hours after I posted my days update, my Dad passed away.

Two of his sisters were there with him, one had arrived only about an hour before he passed.

My Dad lived a good life, accomplished many wonderful things and lived life to it's fullest.  He was loved and will be missed by many.

I take comfort in knowing that he is finally back with my Mom.  He has deeply missed her for the past 9+ years and now they are back together again.

There will be a celebration of life in the months to come, nothing right away.  That information will be posted here.  Thank you for following along with us in these last couple of weeks.  We love you all.

Another Day of the Same

 Today marks 8 days since Dad has had any food.  In speaking to the hospice nurse that saw him again today, she told me that he is pretty much the same as yesterday, just a little bit more unresponsive.

He's a fighter, we all know that.  That being said, I am glad that he's finally getting the rest he so well deserves.  As I had mentioned previously, he has not had many good nights of sleep in a long time, so this rest is perfect.

His sister that had spent the night will be returning home and his 3rd sister will be staying with him for a couple of nights.  Again, it's nice for him to have his sisters visiting him.  I know that he appreciates that a lot.

That's really the only update.  His caregivers continue to take great care of him, which we are all so very thankful for.  

Until tomorrow.  Good Night.

As Quiet As A Mouse

 What a difference a day makes.  Yesterday while EJ and I were visiting, Dad was the most responsive we've seen in a few days.  We talked to him for quite a while, and he stayed awake for the whole thing.  The responses we got were facial expressions, single clearer words, or mumbles.  It was great.  Previously to that he would be awake for up to 15 or so seconds and then completely fall asleep.  I feel like yesterday's conversation was the one he was waiting for.

Today, I spoke to the hospice nurse after she visited him and she told me that he was unresponsive, but comfortable and well cared for.  His caregivers mentioned that they are now adjusting him every couple of hours to prevent bed soars, since he can no longer do it himself.  Today, Dad didn't move around, pull his knee to his chest, raise his arms up, hang his legs off of his bed, or do any of the other things that he's been doing.  He didn't say a word.  He was as quiet as a mouse 

One of Dad's sisters and her fiance are visiting with him today and are staying the night tonight.  I know he appreciates the company, it's nice to know that family is there.

Hope you all have a good night sleep, I have a feeling my Dad will as well.  Good Night.

Restful Night

 Last night, my Dad had a more restful night than he's had in the past couple of nights.  He's been sleeping more during the day and a bit restless at night/early morning.  Last night was better, which is great.

Dad's sister and her husband visited him again today.  I know he has appreciated those visits.  EJ and I visited with him today and mentioned that they had come by.  He (in his own way) acknowledged knowing that they had been there with a little smile.

EJ and I talked to Dad today.  We talked about my Mom and how we know that all he wants to do is be with her again.  He nodded "yes" and raised his hand to his face; he's ready.

Dad still has some pain, but surprisingly (his hospice nurse said the same thing), it's not as bad as it should be with end-stage liver cirrhosis.  So that's great.  His pain can be managed with morphine so that he can rest in comfort.

We tried playing the Giants game for him today on his speakers.  He can no longer watch TV, but we do know that he can hear everything around him.  We had the station on for a few minutes, and then he started moving around, a little agitated.  Trying to figure out why, I asked him if he wanted me to leave the radio on....to that, he said nothing.  I then asked him if it's too much noise, and he wanted me to turn off the radio, and he said "yea".  He seems to enjoy the quiet, with occasional conversation best.

We left him to rest in good hands.  His caregivers have been absolutely wonderful.  Dad's hospice nurse said once again, "He seems very well taken care of, and that makes me happy".  Me too.

Welp, my emotions are all over the place today, so I'm going to go enjoy some pizza and a cocktail!  Cheers!!

Another Change

 Now that we are on daily visits from hospice, we were able to have the same weekend nurse come visit with him today as we did yesterday.  She's fun, lively, and good with my Dad.

She noted the definite change in him from yesterday.  Today, Dad is basically not responsive.  He did have a couple of moments where you knew he was aware of what was being said.  He can also still help by raising his arms and head when his caregivers go to change his shirt, he'll move his feet around or raise his knee when he wants to, but besides that and some random twitches, he's pretty much just lying in his bed peacefully.

Today, as promised when he was bedridden and could no longer stand, we made him a cocktail.  Vodka on the rocks, of course.  EJ made the three of us cocktails.  We would give my Dad tiny sips of his with his dental sponge.

Dad was happy to have a couple of sips.  He gave us the faintest smile and fluttered his eyes for a moment.  After a couple of sips, EJ asked him if he wanted more, and he shook his head "No".  He was done.

A little while later, his sister and her husband came by for a visit.  They were there visiting with him yesterday as well, and could definitely note the difference in him in just one day.

Yesterday, we were able to call his name, and he would open his eyes and respond with either a mumble or a word.  Today, he wasn't.

Last night, he raised his arm and waved to someone who was not there.  We can only assume it was my Mom saying, "Hurry up already, Larry, I'm waiting!"

Daily Hospice Visits

 As I mentioned yesterday, we are now having daily hospice visits.

We had a new nurse (weekend nurse) today who visited my Dad.  She was great, very lively.  She will be visiting him again tomorrow.

He is still very weak.  But his mind is working.  When we talk to him and ask him questions, he will answer us with a word or two.  He is still aware of his pain, what he's feeling, and knows what is happening around him.  

Dad was able to have his sister and brother-in-law visit today.  He's aware when people are there.  When you say his name and try to get his attention, you can talk to him for a little bit......but most of the time, he'll fall asleep halfway through what you are saying.  Ah, it is what it is.

That is really the update.  Not a lot of change.  He still sleeps a lot.  He's awake for a little bit of the day, and that's the gist of it.

We are just trying to keep him as comfortable as possible.

Until tomorrow.  Good Night!

A Visit From Dad's Hospice Nurse

 My visit with Dad today was nice.  When he saw me, he gave me a big smile.  He slept for just about all of my visit and would only wake up just a couple of times, and only in 10-15 second segments.  He might just look around.  He might mumble something, or he might answer a question that we have with a few simple words.  Keeping his attention for longer than that was impossible.  His body and mind need to rest, and so they are.

Dad's hospice nurse came for a visit today.  We started out with his nurse visiting once a week, which changed to 2 times this week until today, when his nurse said that he will be visited daily from here on out by a hospice nurse.

Dad's nurse, Mike (great guy!), was surprised at how quickly my Dad had declined over the last weekend when he visited him on Tuesday.  Then again, today he was surprised by how drastic the change was compared to his visit on Tuesday.

My Dad will be spending the remaining days he has left in bed.  I know he wants to get up and do things, but his body just can not do that anymore.

The visit with Mike was good and informative.  We talked about medications and simply keeping my Dad comfortable.  He said that my Dad looks well taken care of and that he was happy about that.

Mike said that he thinks that my Dad will pass sometime within the next couple of days, or possibly sometime next week.

I know that my Dad is ready to pass.  He was ready last week.  I just hope that he is comfortable and pain-free so that he can pass in peace.

I am exhausted, so I am posting this a bit earlier than usual.  I want to make sure that I get this out to you all before I pass out tonight, and hopefully, I get a good night's sleep.

Sleepy Sleepy

 Yesterday was a day of rest.  My Dad did a lot of sleeping.  He had moments of being awake and then would fall right back to sleep.  When I visited him yesterday, he had been asleep for a while.  When he had a moment of wakefulness, I made my presence known, and he smiled at me and said, "You're here".  That made me smile.

Dad's moments of awake consist of moving around a little in bed, saying things that only come out in a mumble, and, on occasion, having something to say that's pretty clear.

Yesterday's clear moment was him asking me, "What time do the Giants play?" To that, I answered, "They play at 7:10, and guess who they're playing?" Dad's still a pretty quick thinker, as he replied, "Dodgers!" I laughed and said, "You're right!"

Another time that he woke up, I asked him if he'd like me to read the letter that we got from Austin today.  He nodded his head yes.  I started reading and got almost halfway done, and he indicated that he was done listening.  I think small, quick conversations are all he can handle right now.

He can answer us with a " yes " or " no " when we ask him simple questions, which is good.

Today, his hospice nurse will visit him, so I will do another post tonight with an update of the day and that visit.

I think it's finally my Dad's time to rest.  He needs it.  He's had a long time of sleepless nights over the past few years, especially the last few months.  I believe he was in a lot more pain than he let on or would admit.  I'm glad that we have the medication to help him with his pain, and that his body is finally allowing him to rest.

Until tonight.

Sleepy Day

 Today was a mostly sleepy day.  He hasn't been able to sleep well at night for a long time.  The last few days of last week, as my Dad started taking some morphine for his pain, he was finally able to get a few good nights of sleep.  Since then, over the past couple of nights, as his confusion has set in, he has tried to get up out of bed at 2, 3, and/or 4am in the early morning.  Thankfully, his caregiver is always there to help get him back into bed before he starts trying to walk, which would only result in a fall if left unattended.

This morning, he was a little agitated but finally fell asleep around 8am.  From that point on, or at least when I last checked in this evening, he was still asleep.  He had only woken up for a few minutes, was cared for, and then fell back asleep.  His ability to stay awake is becoming less and less as the days go on.  Just yesterday, he was able to stay awake more as he visited with his sisters.  Today, he basically slept all day long.

With all of his sleepiness and extra added-on confusion, we decided to not go ahead with his procedure tomorrow.  We feel that it will be too much for him, and his hospice nurse assured us that although his belly is filling up, it is not to the point where it is giving him pain or disrupting his quality of life.  Since my Dad isn't eating or drinking much of anything, his fluid will most likely more or less stay the same.

On that note, there's not a lot to report for today.  He seems to finally be getting the rest he needs.  He doesn't seem to be in pain while he's resting, which is great.  Tomorrow is another day, and we will see what it has in store for us all.

Good Night.

Last Visit for the Duke

 What a day.  Dad decided that he needed to be out in the front room this morning.  While out there, he called me and let me know that he wanted to go to Clearlake.  It broke my heart because I knew that he would never again be able to make the trip up there.  We chatted for a couple of minutes, and I told him that I would be by shortly to visit.

When I got there, he was sitting on the edge of the couch.  He was contemplating staying out there or going back to his bed to rest.  We chatted for a few minutes, and we decided that it was best for him to go back to his room to take a quick nap before his sisters arrived for their visit.

Not too long after, his sisters and niece arrived and visited for a good while.  Stories and jokes were told, and pictures were shared.  While we chatted, he entertained us with his button-pushing skills, as he would raise his bed up as high as it would go, then lower it as low as it would go, all the while making his bed fold into a 90-degree angle so that he could sit at attention while we all talked.  It was quite entertaining.  All in all, it was a nice visit.

Dad's hospice nurse arrived this afternoon to assess where we are.  The last time his hospice nurse was here was last Friday.  The difference he saw in my dad from that date until today was huge.  We chatted about his upcoming procedure on Thursday, all while trying to get my dad's opinion on the matter.  My dad was very confused during the conversation as he would try to listen and comprehend what was being said.

We decided to touch base tomorrow on whether or not we thought it was a good idea to proceed with his procedure.

I can tell that Dad's pain is becoming a bit more for him to handle.  He was also getting a bit more agitated and restless today than he was yesterday, which is to be expected as time goes on.

We are taking everything day by day.  No expectations.  Just being.  We will see what tomorrow holds.  For tonight, we will hopefully have a good night's rest and start again in the morning.

Good Night.  It's been a long day.

More Pain, More Meds

 It's Monday night.  Today was....a day.  I visited my Dad in the early afternoon for a while, then left for a bit to pick up Jenna and my niece from school to bring them to our house to hang out.  I stayed home for a little while and then headed back to see my Dad again.  

It seems unbelievable when I say it out loud, but I saw a change.  It's almost like we have been living in Fast Forward with the way he is declining.  I spoke with my Dad's caregiver and mentioned that I think it might be time for 24-hour care.  She agreed, so I went back home to get EJ, as he also wanted to visit with my Dad.  We visited while his caregiver went home to pack her bag, knowing that she would be staying for a couple of nights.  

He was already in his wheelchair when we got there......apparently he pushes his boundaries (surprise, surprise, right?) with his caregivers when I'm not there.  Since he was already in his chair, we decided to wheel him out into the front room to watch a little of the Giants game.  I'm not sure how much of the game he was able to follow along with, but I think he liked being out of his bed for a little while.

Today was a day that he either felt more pain or finally admitted to feeling more pain.  He was open to taking more pain medication to help ease his pain and discomfort.  I am glad that the medication that he has been taking works pretty fast, so that he can just relax and rest.

Our caregivers, Norma and Eva, were the same caregivers who took care of my Mom.  We know them, like and trust them.  It was a no-brainer for my Dad when the conversation of him having a caregiver came up.  He wanted them to care for him and EJ, and I agreed.

Dad is aware of what is happening, but also a bit confused about things at times.  While we were watching the Giants game tonight, he asked, "Is this last year's game?".  Yesterday, we wouldn't have had a conversation like that.  It's crazy what a difference a day makes.  Like I said, it's like we've been living in Fast Forward these past few days.

As I had mentioned in my last post, we had to cancel today's visitors.  Tomorrow, my dad wants to visit with his sisters, and then that will be the end of his visitors for now.  

I don't know how much time we will have left. I can only assume that he will be leaving us sooner rather than later.  I know that there are more who wish to visit with my Dad, but he has expressed that he is not up for visitors at this time, so we will honor his wishes.  

Thank you all for understanding and for the love and support you continue to show.  We love you all.

Goodnight.

Where We Started And Where We Are

 To some of you, this must be a big surprise.  To others, you have either heard small updates or you have been in the know for a while.  Either way you got here, welcome and here is a little info on where we started and where we are now.

On September 21, 2023, my Dad was diagnosed with Liver Cirrhosis.  This was the first time that he had symptoms bad enough to want to seek medical attention for them.  He checked himself into the ER and found out his diagnosis.

It's been a long ride for the past 2 years and 8 months.  For most of that time, he was pretty symptom-free.  Not much to complain about, and just enjoying life.

A couple of months ago, that all changed.  In March, his illness started to become more apparent.  He was having a lot of fluid build up, his skin was becoming more jaundiced, and his balance was not what it used to be.

On April 14th, I took my Dad to his doctor's appointment to discuss where we are.  We decided, due to his recent falls, to set up a Home Health Nurse, Physical Therapist, and Occupational Therapist.  They would each come to his house 2-3 times a week.  Therefore, I would be going to his house and back home 2-3 times a day for those appointments, grocery store runs, getting his mail, and Daily Journal, as well as for other reasons.

On April 21st, I took my Dad to get blood tests and to have fluid removed from his belly.  Since his liver was not working as it should, he would get a lot of fluid building up that would need to be removed.  The procedure was done with success, and they removed......are you sitting down for this?.....7.6 liters (yes, I said liters) of fluid from him.  What relief he felt!  Thank goodness!

That was the last time I was able to take him out of the house for an appointment on my own.

On April 29th, we had another fluid draining appointment scheduled, as well as a Palliative Care initial appointment to see if he qualified for Palliative Care.  Unfortunately, the past week took its toll on him, and he was no longer able to leave the house on his own.  Stairs to the garage now became too much for him, so he was homebound for the time being.  We had to cancel his fluid draining appointment and change his Palliative Care appointment from an in-person visit to a video visit.

During the Palliative Care appointment, it was determined that my Dad did not qualify for Palliative Care, but that he did qualify for hospice care.  That was a hard one to swallow.  Conversations shifted, lists were made, and people started being notified.  I now had a lot of things to get in order that needed to be done quickly.  The Palliative Care doctor gave my Dad a timeline of "Days to Weeks" to live.

Over the next week and a half, he was able to visit with some of his family and friends.  It perked him up; he started looking better and sounding better as he looked forward to each and every one of those visits.  Saturday, he had a visitor, and for the first time, he had to visit from his bed; all of his other visits he was able to do from his recliner in the family room, which was nice.

We have had to cancel today's visits and most likely the rest, as he just doesn't have the energy.  Things have been going quickly for the past few months and have definitely ramped up over the past couple of weeks.

He has an appointment to have a drain put into his stomach on Thursday, which will allow his nurse and caregivers to drain his fluid at home, which will make him more comfortable.  I will keep you all updated on how that goes.

My plan, as I did with my Mom, is to update this blog nightly with what has happened that day.  I have received many phone calls and text messages over the past couple of weeks, and we TRULY appreciate them all!  I have done my best to reply and get back to everyone as best I could.  I know that I may have missed some messages and not been able to get back to others.   

This is another reason why I created this blog.  Now there is one place that everyone can come to, where they can "Keep up with John (Larry)".  Thank you all for your continued love, support, and understanding.  We love and appreciate you all!

Welcome

Hello and welcome!  We've had a lot going on here over the past couple of months.  When my Mom got sick, I started a blog to have a main place where her family and friends could be updated daily on how she was doing.  I thought it would be a good central hub of information for everyone out there.  What I didn't realize was how therapeutic it would be for me as well.

I have decided to do the same thing for my Dad in creating this blog so that I can update it daily to let you all know what is happening in his world, as well as help me process everything.

You are welcome to stop by here as much as you would like to read my posts, comment, and send well wishes, etc.

Thank you!